Where am I?

You are in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada. North of Vancouver and south of Alaska. In the Coast Mountains. Mountain Host of the 2010 Winter Olympics. Where did you think you were? Don’t answer that.

Whistler, eh? Kind of a funny name, don’t you think?

Well, before it was Whistler, it was Alta Lake. Trouble was, the whistling marmots that live on the mountain demanded we name the place after them. They’re so cute; how could we resist

Where can I go to get oriented?

The Whistler Information Centre, just off the taxi loop, is a good place to start. They have maps, brochures, people to give directions and answer questions and lots more useful stuff.

Anywhere else?

If you see a Village Host kiosk or people wearing Village Host jackets, ask them. On the other hand, just ask anyone who looks less confused than you. Sooner or later, you’ll hit on a local, most of whom are friendly, helpful and will be happy to direct you. They may even know where it is you want to go.

Nice mountains. Which one’s Whistler and which one’s Blackcomb?

Whistler’s the one on the right. The other one’s Blackcomb.

Why do village directions seem so complicated?

The people who laid out the village thought being lost was half the fun. They call it exploring and thought it would be adventurous to give visitors a chance to explore and discover things, in their hopeless search for whatever it is they’re looking for. Besides, it also encourages you to ask questions of friendly, helpful, locals.

Where is the Upper Village?

See, what did I tell you? The Upper Village is at the bottom of Blackcomb… the one on the left. It’s also called the Benchlands. It has two names because, well, most of us do and it enhances the visitor experience in that feeling-lost way.

And where, or what, is Creekside?

Creekside is largely a state of mind. It’s also where Whistler got its start. Continuing with a theme, it’s also known as Whistler Creek. Joke’s wearing thin, isn’t it? It’s about 5km south of the village. It has great restaurants, not to mention…

I know, friendly, helpful locals. Can I take a bus down there?

You bet. The adult fare on all the WAVE buses, even the hydrogen fuel cell ones, is $2.50. Seniors and students pay $2. But if you’re just getting around the village, it’s free… though it’s better to walk.

  What’s the history of Whistler?

In the beginning, there was a single landmass called Pangaea….

I was thinking of more recent history.

Sorry, just trying to be thorough. Fast forward a couple of billion years. After the ice receded the first people arrived. We call them First Nations now although they were people, not nations. They had the place pretty much to themselves until the late 1800s. Trappers and miners came next, then dreamers and fishermen. Finally in the 1960s skiers, followed in rapid succession by condo salesmen, snowboarders, mountain bikers, and now, you.

Where can I learn more…

You’re on vacation. Are you sure you don’t just want to play golf?

… about the First Nations people you mentioned?

The Lil’wat Nation, based in Mount Currie, north of Whistler and the Squamish Nation, based south of Whistler in Squamish, got together and built the Squamish-Lil’wat Cultural Centre in Whistler.

One cultural centre for two nations?

Yes. The Lil’wat are part of the Interior Salish Nation and traditionally lived in Istkens, or pit houses. The Squamish are part of the Coast Salish and traditionally lived in long houses. Their traditional territories overlapped around these parts.

So Whistler occupies a sort of meeting area?

Yes, in a physical sense as well as culturally. Whistler is at the top of a pass, and water drains from Whistler’s lakes both to the north and south.

Cool trick. Okay, I’ve put off asking this as long as I can. How do you open the garbage bins around here?

Just watch the bears.

Huh?

They’re ‘bear-proof’ bins. They’re designed so bear paws can’t undo the latch. That’s the theory, anyway. Reach in, palm up, and press the latch back with your fingertips. Lift the lid, toss the trash. It’s a two-hand operation. Close the lid when you’re done.

There are bears here?

Yes

Should I be scared?

Not unless you look like Jerry Garcia or smell like bacon.

Someone told me the bears have names.

True. Whistler bear researcher Michael Allen has spent over 20 years studying Whistler’s black bears. He named them because he has trouble remembering numbers. You can go on one of his bear tours and he’ll introduce you.

How old do you have to be to get a drink around here?

19. But you’ll probably be carded if you look like you’re under 25. Ask the bouncer nicely and he’ll try to guess your weight as well.

Can children under 19 go into pubs and bars?

Maybe yes, maybe no… probably no; it all depends on the establishment’s licencing. I’d explain how it works but you’d just think I was making it up. Bars and pubs at ski areas can apply for a permit that allows minors inside, until 8 p.m., if accompanied by a parent or guardian. Usually it’s the bars at the base of the mountains that apply for this permit. If there’s no sign indicating whether minors are allowed, ask. If you don’t get the answer you’re after, remember, it’s not the doorman’s fault.

Can you buy a drink on Sundays?

Is the Pope… hmmm, what’s the new one again… oh yeah, Argentinian? Of course you can; this is a resort.

Where do I go if I get hurt?

Drinking?

No, just in general.

Lie there and wait for ski patrol.

It’s summer. Is there a hospital around here.

Right, summer. Well, yes, there is. The Whistler Health Care Centre is at the north end of the village, at the corner of Lorimer Road and Blackcomb Way, next to Marketplace. Doctors’ offices are located above the centre. There are also several walk-in medical clinics around the village.

Who do I call in the event of an emergency?

Dial 9-1-1 for medical, fire and police emergencies.

So where are all the Olympic venues?

The ski race courses are on Whistler. Not much to see in the summer. The Sliding Centre where they held the luge, bobsleigh and skeleton races is on the lower flank of Blackcomb above Fitzsimmon Creek. Jump on a bus to get there. And the Whistler Olympic Park — cross country and ski jumping — is south of town about 25 minutes.

What else is there do to around here?

Didn’t you read the middle of this book? 99 things?

I’ll get to it. Thanks, you’ve been helpful.

You’re welcome. Your pleasure is my business.